I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
