we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
