so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
