So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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