My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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