But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Still dying that you shit outside
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
