Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I have feelings that need drinking.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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