i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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