Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
