Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
