When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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