Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
