Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
