I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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