I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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