I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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