oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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