Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize