wat bout pragnant strippers??
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
