i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
this hospital has no fireball
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
