Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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