That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
not ubering you a puppy
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
