either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize