Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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