Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
