bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
