When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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