the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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