feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
