It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
