Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
