booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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