tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
