I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize