so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
