Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
