We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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