i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
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Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
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Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize