I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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