I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
