chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
