mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
