I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
