Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
