We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
