Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
