I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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