Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
