When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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