I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
