My hair reeks of homosexuality.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
