I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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