I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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