Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
