some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
