I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
